Whatever floats your boat

the roof is not my son
but i will raise it

17yr:

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drake stoppin the game to see if the ladies in the crowd are being treated well

cuphaz:

when i was 14 my teacher made fun of my pimples in front of the whole class and my best friend was furious so whenever she saw the teacher she’s like “OH YOU GET NEW CRINKLES TODAY” “DID YOU LOSE WEIGHT COS APPARENTLY YOU DIDN’T” “HEY MA’AM IS THAT YOUR BUTT OR IS THAT YOUR BELLY THEY LOOK THE SAME” she got detention almost everyday even i told her to stop she still did it anyway if you dont know what golden friendship is this is

little-miss-disney:

When pixar does the thing that makes you question if you are actually watching a children’s movie.

(Source: oxnam)

(Source: hungrywhitemale)

iwishlilbwasmygrandpa:

fuuck your bedtime mom. its probably like 5 am in china right now. time is a human construction that doesnt even exisgt. if u reject time you can transcend it. please i want to play halo

(Source: swagonmydick4000000000)

mysteryplantgirl:

castielhasthephoneb0x:

i can nt breath this old man who has like the biggest onion ever is so pr ou d of it 

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LOOK HOW HAPPY HIS ONION MAKES HIM

this makes my heart smile

(Source: clumsycarl)

dogscan:

Okay no. Fucking no. You think your sandwich is cute with peanut butter and jelly hearts, fucker? Well you’ll change your mind once you put it together and try to eat it. First you’ll get a mouthful of just bread and disappointment, then when you take another bite your mouth will be assaulted by copious the amounts of sticky peanut butter and sugary jelly and there won’t be enough bread to save you from it. A sandwich like that is what failure tastes like. The pb and j may be shaped like hearts but there’s no love in that sandwich. It’s about balance. Life needs balance, and so does your fucking sandwich. You disgust me. Don’t talk to me until you know how to make a proper sandwich.

(Source: music-singing-sun)

ollygollymolly:

This is my proudest moment.

(Source: memewhore)

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